


They were kings and I'm always the lionheart

by grelotgirl



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Cannibalism, Canonical Character Death, Dream cannibalism, Gore, I AM SORRY OK, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Multi, The pairings are just implied no smut here, don't read it, only a few kisses? And well, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 16:37:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5672878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grelotgirl/pseuds/grelotgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan always finds them. Greywaren. Adam always knows what to do. Magician.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They were kings and I'm always the lionheart

**Author's Note:**

> SO. I am sorry i wrote this but I had it in me i guess? This is for my friend Mid. Also: english is not my first language so i'm sorry about that too. This fic contains gore and cannibalism and blood so keep safe and don't read it if it triggers you /hugs. If I didn't tag correctly or you think more tags need to be added, please, let me know!!

The corners of the dream are blurred, or maybe it’s just his tears, but Kavinsky’s still there. He always is, these days, sometimes alive, laughing at him, touching him and calling him _princess_ , kissing him and calling him _bitch_. Ronan allows that. Ronan knows when he’s dreaming, Ronan knows when he’s awake.  
Sometimes, like this time, Kavinsky is dead. Burnt to ashes, strangled, tore open. Like this time. Ronan allows this. Ronan just stares, trying to stop the tears, because he knows he’s dreaming and through the tears everything is blurred and he almost can see Kavinsky laughing at him once more.  
_I never liked him_. It’s Adam, kneeling next to him, looking at K’s dead body, almost interested. He runs a finger across his sternum and Ronan wants to catch him by the wrist and keep him from getting blood under his nail. He doesn’t. He just stops crying.  
_I_ _know_. Because Ronan knows. Ronan knows many things.  
_He never liked me, either. I think he was jealous._ This dream Adam has real Adam’s accent, and casts him a sideway glance, and keeps touching Kavinsky’s insides like it’s nothing. This dream Adam knows many things, but he never touches Ronan. Ronan wouldn’t allow that.  
_Maybe._  
_Yeah, maybe._ Adam shrugs. Ronan dries his tears with his own hand, and looks at Kavinsky’s heart between his friend’s elegant hands. _Maybe he will leave you alone now._  
_Maybe_. He says, taking it with care, biting it. It’s hot, it’s full of blood. It’s nasty, unpleasant. Completely unnecessary. Ronan eats the whole heart staring at dream Adam’s blue eyes. He loves every bit of it and licks his fingers clean, but doesn’t touch Adam’s fingers. Dream Adam would allow that, but Ronan never lies.  
_He will be with you now._ Forever. Adam says. Ronan doesn’t know if this is a good thing.  
He wakes up.

  
Cabeswater is blurred since Gansey died, or maybe it’s just his tears. They didn’t go in there, the first week, because it was too painful. Too alive and too soon. Ronan didn’t want to sleep, the first week, because he was too afraid of finding his dead body (a young king almost sleeping, now in his coffin, back on the Earth) like he used to find Kavinsky’s. Too painful. He was (he is) too young to feel this much pain.  
The second week, Blue came to the Barns and kicked him in the gut and looked him in the eye and said _you haven’t got the right to be angry now. Gansey was no Niall Lynch._  
Ronan doesn`t remember anything but punching back, straight to the nose like he was taught, but Adam’s elegant hand was faster stopping him. Blue smiled and it was like eating and old lover’s heart. Nasty and painful. Blue is too young to feel this much pain.

They drove (he drove) the Camaro to Cabeswater. Now here they are, and Cabeswater’s corners are blurred and Ronan may know when he’s dreaming but he doesn’t really know when he’s crying.

He’s the one who finds it, of course. Greywaren, Greywaren. He follows a shadow and thinks _Orphan Girl_ , then he thinks _Glendower_ , then he thinks _Mom_ , but it’s not that. It’s just a shadow and Noah, Blue and Adam follow him like he could get them anywhere (they need to follow, Ronan knows it, but it’s not him. Ronan needs to follow too). He’s the one who finds it. Him. It feels like a dream, but Ronan knows when he’s awake.

It’s Gansey. Their Gansey, a young king sleeping peacefully, and old promise lurking in their memory. He’s dead.  
_He’s dead_ , Noah says, and his voice is weak but he’s the one who is strong enough to talk. Ronan nods, and kneels because he needs to follow, kneels because that’s what has to be done. Noah, Blue and Adam follow him. He doesn’t dare to look at his open torso when Adam (not dream Adam, even if they share the accent and the hands and the eyes, no. This is not a dream) digs his hands into it.  
It’s Ronan who finds Gansey, because Cabeswater wants them to find him. Greywaren. It’s Adam who holds his heart like it’s the most precious treasure. Like it’s nothing. Magician.  
It’s Blue, of course, who takes the first bite. They watch her teeth full of blood and they watch her cry and kiss Noah to share the blood because the dead do not eat but they do mourn. Ronan takes the heart carefully and bites almost ruthlessly, as if he didn’t care. As if it was his own heart (maybe it is. Maybe). He kisses Noah, too, because he didn’t want this but he is not allowed to want, only to dream. Adam finishes the heart with his eyes broken but doesn’t cry, doesn’t cry when he swallows looking at them, doesn’t cry when he pulls his fingers into Noah’s mouth, having him lick the blood off them, because Gansey was his as he was Noah's. It's messy and it's nasty. Completely unnecesary. Never satisfying.  
_He will be with us now._ He says, like he's sure. _Forever_. Ronan doesn’t know if this is a good thing.

He never wakes up.


End file.
